
I think I have my “shit straight”. I have never been involuntarily unemployed; have always ascended quickly through my employment ranks; and have been told more than once by friends and family that I have my “head on right”. I attribute this to a particular work ethic that I feel that my sister Irma and I share.
One day while sitting around waiting for the world around me to crank up, I had nothing better to do than list the components of my work ethic. For the sake of my personal amusement I have decided to publish them below. Hopefully someone out there will read it and will extract something from it. This list is particularly helpful for young people seeking unskilled or low-skilled jobs. (Once you specialize in a field, I’m sure you know, the rules and steps change.)
Fortunately, I have followed these “rules” my whole life and have not had any problems. I have had the opportunity to work as a supervisor and hirer as well, so I speak from first hand experience as the one carrying out the employee review process.
I will start with the first step, of actually obtaining a job.
1. You are unemployed. (Either that or the job that you have sucks.) Your first step is to make your unemployed status your actual full time job. Wake up early, get dressed, and jump on your grind as if you actually had a job. Make looking for a job your job. Eight hours a day.
2. Put together a nice resume. On good paper. Get a friend who has a laser printer at work to take care of this. Either that, or head on down to your local copy shop. Make sure you get a couple people to look over it to make sure it looks as professional as possible. It doesn’t have to be one page, just make sure you cut out the B.S. Highlight your punctuality and your ability to work under pressure.
3. Get dressed. Church shoes, platted khakis ($9 in Wal-Mart), and a shirt with buttons tucked in. Made sure they aren’t faded or stained. Make sure your hair is cut and/or groomed. No dirt under your fingernails. You have to be “interview ready”. Nobody wants to hire anybody who looks sloppy. First impressions are gold.
4. Write a list of all the jobs that you would love to have (“A” jobs), that you wouldn’t mind working at (“B” jobs), and jobs that you would work at if need be (“C” jobs). For example, my “A” job selections out of high school were Internet cafes, “B” jobs included the movie theatre, and “C” jobs included department stores. Prioritize your search based on this list. If you score a “C” job, don’t stop your searching until you get a “B” or “A” job.
5. Pick a general area you would like to work in. Something close to home or something on an accessible route. Go from business to business asking to speak to a manager, expressing your interest in working for the business, filling out any necessary applications, and leaving a resume. If the manager is not available, speak to their representative or to the actual employee. My experience is that employees have not been too helpful with this, so if you need to come back at a later time, this is fine. Always leave your resume if they are not hiring at the moment. Jot down the manager’s name and the date you came. Do not depend on online databases and newspaper classifieds. Though these are useful tools, a third of all jobs are never published. In fact, five of the seven jobs I have had in my lifetime were obtained by walk-in visits or phone calls.
6. Call back in two weeks to each and every place you have visited. Ask to speak to the person who you had turned your resume in to previously, refresh their memory as to who you are, and inquire about whether or not they are hiring yet. If you have no luck, try and try again every two weeks until they shut the door in your face.
Sooner or later you will begin getting phone calls for interviews. If you’re lucky, you will get an on-the-spot interview when turning the resume in. After a few weeks you should be getting numerous calls and might even be in a position to select the job you want. If after a month or two you are still not receiving any callbacks even after your daily 8-hour grind than something is wrong. You either have a shitty resume or are not presentable. I would suggest going back to the drawing board and reviewing the previous rules.
Now once you have your job,
1. Show up to work on time. In fact, show up 15 minutes early. Punctuality goes a long way. Then, whenever you’re late for whatever reason people will truly believe you.
2. Don’t bitch about not getting paid for the 15 minutes you show up early or stay after work wrapping up your loose ends. Just pretend in your mind that you’re on a salary and not an hourly wage for a minute. A few minutes here and there are not going to hurt.
3. Sooner or later you are bound to make a mistake. And sooner or later your boss is going to scold you for something. That is fine. Just shut up and take it. If you “missed a spot” but really didn’t, don’t bother contesting. Bosses like scolding you as much as you like getting scolded, so they have to get into a certain mentality before unloading on you. This mentality is “output only”, so there is little room for you to talk back or appeal during that moment. There is nothing more annoying than scolding someone only to have them defensively argues back. This only confirms that you are not paying attention or that you don’t care. Once your boss retreats and a few minutes pass, feel free to bring to his attention that the issue has been corrected. Obviously, there can be an instance where a boss crosses the line and you have to go haywire on them. But please don’t bitch and wine if your boss is scolding you for coming to work late or doing something wrong. Especially if you came to work late or did something wrong.
4. Don’t limit yourself to your job description. Volunteer for any task. Be aggressive. Be a “go to” person who is willing to do anything needed. The employee that refuses to wipe down the front window because it is not part of their job description will be the last one to get a raise. People like that are not promotion materials.
5. Be aggressive. Even if it means you have to push aside co-workers who obviously don’t give a shit about their job. Once an employer of mine was complaining about a co-worker who was showing up late and performing terribly. “Well give me her hours,” I said. That single move allowed me to jump from a part-time to a full-time position within the first few weeks of my new job. Some might say that this was a bitch move on my behalf, but this other employee most likely moved on to another job where she continued such practices. Either that, or it was a wake up call for her.
6. Aim high. Your supervisor might be a cool guy, but make it your secret mission to one day have his job. Don’t worry about supervisors who could potentially “have it out” for you. As long as you follow these rules and do your job well they should have little ammunition to sabotage your aspirations. I never understood how someone could work at as a cashier at a McDonalds for 10 years. If I were to work at McDonalds for 10 years, I would already own one.
7. Being a hard worker with the ability to follow instructions doesn’t mean you have to be a yes man. If you think that your manager is going about something the wrong way, pull them aside and let them know your opinion. I was surprised at how many supervisors and employers would take into account my opposition to something that I thought was unreasonable.
Of course, some bosses are straight out assholes and many jobs are dead end. Frankly, there are some employers out there that will take advantage of you. If you see that you are working for someone who is hateful and mean or that your job title is stagnant despite your aspirations, than you need to find another job.